this protest movement feeling does so much ebbin and flowin. i so wanted to go down there, to terre haute, to testify against the foolishness of revenge for revenge. im wrestlin with it still. even random body twitches. i wanted to go back when i wrote it, and i wanted to on thursday night. and i wanted to friday. and i didnt feel up to it today, sunday, when i called back marc. i feel that he heard that in my voice, the let down. mike told me to call him, and at that point i was hopin he would be givin some excuse that would thus be mine too. he said he was still up for it, and i said id call him back, and i waited till about 11 when i convinced myself again. couldnt reach him, and he had already resigned from the idea. but i was talkin to someone, and i think i convinced them to go. so thats cool. just that i still feel torn up about wussin out. if i drove myself now, id fall asleep. its a documented case, my eighteenth birthday. i want to stop it. hackers need to tap the power grid in indiana like they did in cali, bout 6 hours from now