yep, yep, doin it! ani’s new album is really good, much better on the second go. an amazing song, “the arrivals gate”. its gonna replace the counting crows, so listen i say. i want to take my new digicam to the airport for this reason, but people might not like that. when i saw laura come home… best of luck mccain, think you need it.

exactly a month later, pathetic. looking into using blogger, i love so many other sites that use it. weblogs, so neat. how long can someone really go to a community college? 10 years? im working on that. should finish math this quarter, but physics looks bad. hope i can get into the next one, and somehow make-up this one. but what the hell do i want to do with my life? something in computers, but i wish it could involve helping people and art. i really want to master this webpage stuff much more. programming? maybe it wont bore me to death like im scared of, and maybe ill be good at it. and who needs a degree anyway? work has killed me, no stan means im the man and enough already…2am in 2 minutes. everyday from now on, i swear to god, ha

lots to say, but now is not the time. fuckin losing my brain…yeah, im back

its pete’s birthday, i should say hello before the concert. Being John Malkovich is twisted, too much for one sitting, ill try it again. liking new rage even more. weather is warm enough to drive with an open window, understand the strange and simplicity of it, almost hit a kid accidentally, want to, come back, realize he is me years ago, huh. Mumia dead yet, supposed to be, fucking pigs. set-up chick found other pete, cool

found two interesting sites out there. good about politics, simpleurl. follow the money. soft money is so dumb. glad some people understand that and at least claim to want to change it. good ol’ McCain. he would easily defeat the democrats, if he got a chance. understandable why the establishment dislikes him, cause of shit like this. i really dont like that many of his ideas, but guess thats what politics is.

crazy, microsoft does bad things but is not untouchable. and qualcomm may already have the secret, 2mb wireless, wow. anticipating Dogma. my friends make me feel guilty that i wont do things like church and country line dancing just because my girlfriend might want to. they do it, for them, guess i could every once in awhile. is she so cool that it doesnt bother her, or is she scared to tell me it does? ill kiss you if you go to church with me, heard that before, cant have that. tell me to stand up for myself and then tell me im wrong when i do. selfish…ill try to be a little less

its fuckin 2am and i have to write this. i still use women, maybe not in the worst way, but i do. i love to feel their attraction to me, it somehow makes me feel valuable. sometimes i hate that about myself, but seemingly not enough to change it. im new bill, wont do anything, but plays the game. it all gets mixed up in wanting to know people too. this friend of lena’s i met last weekend, does she know i have a girlfriend? i guess not, but i could have told her. instead, i invite her over and attempt to really set her up with one of my roommates. he likes her, and i really dont know how she feels about anyone really. i get the impression she might like me, and deep down i like it. not interested, just like the attention. anyway, isnt it natural to enjoy attention? still wrong not to tell her im not available. so she left and we, really just me and matt, watched Good Will Hunting. such an amazing movie. love it, saw too many parallels to my life and my relationships and laura. nobody does o chem for fun. more tears. thought i might actually do some math homework. simple truths. cant be eloquent tonight, words failing. love you girl, come home soon

new rage album kicks ass. rips on government and religion, surprising that i would like it huh? corporations run us, democrats and republicans. we, the people, have been ignored and i wonder how much of that is due to our acceptance of it. demand campaign finance reform and an end to lobbying. economic transformations and new technology lead to monopolies i think, as you can see these days and compare it to beginnings of oil and railroad industries. i just hope the internet will also allow for greater choice and freedom. seems like it could, but who owns the lines and backbones? who posts whatever they fuckin want? we do, so testify till they regulate and take it away! lots of posts recently

so i added a song from the new counting crows, but you wont hear it unless you got a superspeedy connection or a decent one and read slow. i think its illegal, but i really love these guys and this new song and its too long for them to put on the radio. the music throws me so badly, makes me almost cry sometimes, saw them 3 times i think, and balled at every show. four of my friends have met mr duritz, but i never have. sucks, could of all but one of those times. the songs just connect. dreamt of a brown eyed girl on a railway car, kicked my sheets cause i couldnt sleep, she rolled over and over in my head weeks through, so confused thinking and dumb connections, never till now did i realize who it might have been, try austria

really not much to say, but i feel like writing something. im starting to like McCain more and more. hope that a republican wins, am i crazy? so referencing my birthday, SBC says they will do all IP telephony by 2004. that would be a major surprise and achievement. laura, im sorry. wasnt in a good mood when you called and now you are in Hungary with no way to email me cause i missed it this morning. i never send any cause id rather hear your voice. so thinking about the shit i said above and got me annoyed at religion like i always am, but saw a PBS special and the pope is not all bad. he thinks science should be accepted by the church, has meeting with top guys, as the one truth will be shown in all fields, through faith and technology and discovery. he is really a pretty good guy, except for some of his pessimism on this being the century of death and also his refusal to accept communism when the only other choice was their own destruction. he has led the church to accept capitalism limitedly and defeated oppressive communism throughout europe. nobody wants abortion, so why limit contraception? and that leads me to my last comment, EC stands for emergency contraception which is a pill that does not allow conception to occur. it is contraception, not abortion like RU486. people need to know about it so go hereto learn. i choose not to fuck yet, but i dont think that needs to be the choice for others