driving today and i thought about the two girls that made me dumb. didnt fall in love with them cause love is not the romantic selfish crap of needing but much more beautiful and universal. anyway, they were both innocent and socially acceptable. then they dumped me and changed alot. got wild, not that that was bad, but just completely different. one side of the spectrum to the other. did i know that and got attracted cause of it, could i have caused it, would laura do the same? difference is that laura didnt make me dumb, and thats why i can stay with her. i tired of the others and then hated them, and it was all crazy bullshit that is not about long-term relationships but some kind of dysfunctional fill my need i didnt complete as a child cause my parents were like that shit. listen to loveline or see eyes wide shut if you are confused, and try to understand a little about people. man, im a self-righteous asshole. damn good movies recently, american beauty and fight club. had to say that other shit or spend too much time trying to write a song or poem or maybe i still will